Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
