Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
