you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
