Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
