How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
