ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
