Sponge bath it is.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
