If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
