My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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