Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
