I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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