Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
