I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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