This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
