I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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