ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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