I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
