We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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