your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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