im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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