We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
