U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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