oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
