I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
