He is like the real live version of the state fair..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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