Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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