i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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