They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
