I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
