piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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