He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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