Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
