She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
