i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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