can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
