yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
