i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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