lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
