Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
