dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
