You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
