Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
