Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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