you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
