She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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