There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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