Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
