I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
