VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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