The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
