ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
