I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
