I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Even my vagina gasped.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
